MDI Unplugged! - Part One

Possibly one of the most beautiful campus' in India. Spread over 16 acres of flora, lawns, architecture, red bricks, hostels, and gyaan

The Change Masters gate entrance to MDI

The view from inside the gate

'Gurukula' - Academic block in simple terms means 'Where lectures are held'

The front entrance to Acad block - 'Renaissance'

The backdoor entreance to the 'Acad block'

'Jhaji' - The hole in the wall @Acad block from where we source our in-between-lectures meals!

MDI Unplugged! - Part Two

The NMP hostels. These guys are usually senior managers from PSU cos and they get a whole lot of facilities an their mess is more or less a 3 star hotel!

'Taksha Shila' - The NMP reception, lounge, and the upper floor is their '3 star' mess!

The Scholars block - The offices of the professors and the Director.

The Scholars building in all its glory

MDI Unplugged! - Part Three

The canteen

Sharmaji - And his archaic menu

The hangout spots - Jus outside the canteen (L-R) Mani, Kakkar, Raj & Mansur

Hangout spot - Part Two: Nescafe

Nescafe - This outlet has witnessed high attrition in the past few months. Chotu, Gopal, Babloo, another guy who lasted 2 days and off late Amar.

Finally the Auditorium - The place of a million openhouses, meetings, addresses and wot not.

MDI Unplugged! - Part Four

The passage from the library to the audi

One part of the quadrangle formed between the library, and the U shaped Scholars Block

A top view of the Library and the quadrangle
The reading rooms

The upper floor of the library - Rack and racks of books

The library building from the lawns

Packing and Cleaning Woes

Its that time of the year when you have to pack, clean and check out of Change Masters. And boy believe me it aint as easy as you think. I have discovered new things during Operation Cleanup.

First of which is that there have been many clothes that I have not used at all during my stay here. Next, I make a lot of notes. I seem to have a lot of spare sheets with arbit scribblings all over the damn place. I have hardly read the newspapers that I have subscribed too in the last 8 months.

And finally as economics would have it, we have spawned an industry. The packing and logistics industry has got a fillip from the sudents leaving MDI. Such has been the exodus rate that the front of Change Masters looks like a railway station. Apart from that the massive packing has lead the raddi wala outside campus to be the most sought after man. Over the past two days had you been trading in cardboard cartons, you would have made an 200% gain on your investments. So much for the value addition at BSchool and the thrill of 30% annual gains by the Sensex!

All said and done I am far away from completing my packing. The room almost looks empty. The college sounds have died down. The last of those left here are brooding on not being able to go home. The rest are partying knowing that once the summers start there wont be time left to scratch their butts. Me ... I thought of taking a few pictures around campus. Will upload them asap.

Bye bye time

For all practical purposes the Term is over. Exams are over almost, except for this paper on Strategic Management, which, if you have read my previous posts on the subject) will tell you what a waste of time it is. So here we are at the end of a year of BSchool and all I am set to go home. Have been feeling really homesick for the past 3 weeks and have been waiting for this time to come. Now that its finally arrived it makes me happy and sad. Happy coz I'll be seeing everyone again. Sad coz it brings back some really sad memories. But lets not get into all that right now :)

So what will I be doing for the summers in Bombay? For starters I'll be interning with the Aditya Birla Group at their Management Centre in the Corporate Strategy and Business Development Cell. The very name sounds exciting and I'm looking forward to doing some really good work there. Hopefully get a Pre-Placement Offer (PPO). ABG has been growing agressively for the past few years as they try to 'Take India to the World'. KMB has infused a lot of young blood into the group. And as they plan to become a $15bn organisation there will be a lot of challenging opportunities.

Enuf of the gyaan. Bottom line is Im going home. Im gonna have fun.

The truth about BSchool placements

There has been a hype in the media over the recent placement season of India's top Bschools. Each and every insitute worth its name has been posting average salaries and wot not. Now lemme tell you what all this hype and hoopla is about. And having spent a year at one of India's leading Bschools and having been a part of the process I think my words will have some credibility to them.

• BSchool average salaries that have been posted in the media are only a ploy to attract the best students. Rather in Bschool speak, its for grabbing the marketshare of the students.
• Sometimes only 5% of the batch gets the average salary that is quoted. And these guys get it because they have international placements and the exchange rate is the prime culprit. At Purchasing power parity (another post for this!) they will be again below the average salary
• Most of the batch (50% plus) at any Indian BSchool, even the IIMs will give an arm and a leg for a post tax cash in hand figure of 30k p.m. And before you gasp lemme tell you that Rs.30,000 p.m. in hand post tax is a lot of money for people with even 2 years of work experience. I dont know whether you expect to be worth your weight in gold after 2 years of acads but then dont have great expectations from an MBA.
• The cash component, and then non cash perks, and some more factor of safety by the institute plus deferred bonuses and a whole lot of stuff is added up to give you those near million rupee salaries that have been doing the rounds in the media. The biggest culprit here is the joining bonus which is usually recovered if you leave the firm within 3 years. So this figure hikes up the CTC by upto Rs.70,000.
• Even for those $150,000+ figures quoted by the IIMs, the in-hand component would be in the region of $60,000-$80,000. So chill, its just the exchange rate stupid.
• Yes there are a few Indian corporates that truly give you huge salaries. The post tax from these guys works out to Rs.45,000-Rs.50,000. But then there are only 3-5 such companies. And their total intake is just 2-3 people per company.

I hope I have given you a low down of what happens during Bschool placements. I admit there are a few guys who make it big. But then they are a few just like I said.

Rang Barse

It was Holi. The Festival of colours. It was probably the most decent Holi celebration I have witnessed till date with very restrained throw of colours and water, very unlike the Mumbai style of oil paints, acids, urine and the like. No 'bhaiya plastics' as is the case with Mumbai. Just plain water and for a change we had an NGO, the SNS Foundation, which provided us with herbal powders. The powders were of a good quality and scented again unlike the chemicals laced with lead and other toxic substances that we get in Mumbai.

L-R: Harshit, Tamagna, Jis, Me (time stamp) and Samir

We were then invited to 'Daddu's' place, our dear Director, Dr. Pritam Singh. We had sweets and then proceeded to the lawns behind the library where we had another round of sweets and 'thandai'.

L-R: Uday, Shantanu, Abhishek, Achyut, Sarvo, Me (time stamp again!) and Avdesh

And of course 'Holi' here is never complete without 'Bhaang'. Most of us being first timers and having had a rather crappy experience the last time Bhaang was served during 'Lohri', consumed the drink in copious amounts. Little that we knew that this time around the Bhaang was unadulterted and pure.

The laughing fit! : Ronnie, Me and Raghav in the foreground

So that made many of us laugh our way back to our rooms. Massive bouts of sleeping later, many of us were still under the spell. There has been a unanimous demand for only bhaang at the next MDI party!

The forgetten nick

Last night while chatting with Anna, Nikunj and Rups after a long time was reminded of a nick that Nicks had coined many years ago at VJ. 'Max' was what they called me much before the 'Gordy' that Rups coined. Though later Gordy went on to become the nick that I was associated with from the second year onwards and later on here at MDI, Max remains the name that only Nicks and Anna use. It was a very nostalgic moment when they both used it during the chat, and I was immediately transported to the Eden Gardens (a patch of garden) in front of the Textile and Structural dept. at VJ. It was like we were there under the tree once again chatting like old times. I immediately changed the nick on my IP messenger (The local campus LAN messenger) and updated the status on Yahoo too!

The origins of Max probably go back to the day I was christened. Other than my family and a few close friends no one knows that my full name is 'Gordon Maxmillan DSouza' which was some years later distorted by the Maharashtra Govt., Dept of Education to include Dad's name as is the practice in India, where the fathers name is appended to wards name. And so was entered in the school records 'D'Souza Gordon Gerald'. (Surname First, Name and then Father's Name said the clerk sitting at the admin office! in that order) The name has stuck. Coz when I was apping to engineering college and then after that to MDI, I had to keep it the same as the name that appeared on my school records.

Why Maxmillan?
Maxmillan Kolbe was a Polish priest who chose to be killed in the place of a fellow Pole during the holocaust years in the World War II at one of the many concentration camps. Ultimately many years later on the 10th of October 1982, Fr. Maxmillan Kolbe was canonized by Pope John Paul II. And on that same day, same year I was born. So my parents thought it fit to name me after the great man.

Maxmillan has never seen any official records thanks to the Indian Govt. and most probably I'll leave it at that. I have always preferred to just enter all offical records with just Gordon DSouza. But I like Max. Feels like a part of me is pure and unaduleterated.

Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasiya

Today the MDI Chapter of SPIC MACAY organised a performance by Padmabhushan Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasia at our campus. Panditji is known internationally as an acclaimed artiste of the Bansuri (basically a flute). He belongs to the Maihar Gharana of Hindustani music, has dabbled in fusion and has had a stint in films too!

In much younger times

Panditji started off by playing the afternoon ragas. He said that he rarely gets to play the afty ragas at SPIC MACAY events. He then went on play a few Holi tunes. Well I don't remember the technical names of the pieces because I'm zero at Classical Indian Music. But whatever it was it, I had a great time especially during the jugalbandi with Pandit Vijay Ghate.

The performance

Later we all volunteers got an opportunity to be photographed with Panditji. Must say that he is a very sweet chap, very witty and a jovial gent. Much unlike previous artistes who came last time

Padmabhushan Pandit HariPrasad Chaurasia and Me

Have realised one thing after the event. I do not know anything about Indian Culture. I do not have any tastes in anything about our culture. And I have decided that I'm going to rectify that. Thanks SPIC MACAY!

Behind the HBS curtain

Today for our class on Strategic Management our course instructor Dr. Amit Kapoor (co-instructor with Micheal E Porter at HBS), showed us a video of a classroom discussion at HBS on the Volvo trucks case (Volvo Trucks(A) : Penetrating the US market, Prof Orjan Sorwell and others). The class formed part of the course on 'Microeconomics of Competitiveness' and was facilitated by Porter himself.

It was an insightful peek into what happens at arguably one of the top B-Schools in the world. The discussion was well structured by the legend. He explored the locational strategies, the global network, the comparision between Europe and US, the reasons for entering the US, etc. At the end the discussion did produce some quality inputs. But almost all inputs were almost prompted by Porter and a few others were from some really experienced people in the class.

More than a video on a case analysis the clip proved to be a big confidence booster for me. Today I broke the myth of excellence that surrounds prestigious B-Schools outside India. (I already busted my belief on the IIMs much earlier :) ) The image that an average person has on B-Schools like Harvard and the likes is that the people who make it to these institutions are undoubtedly the best in terms of business acumen, insights, and opinions that any student body can offer. However, after listening to some of the views, it became apparent that we here at MDI (maybe I could add top Indian B-Schools) have much better class dicussions, talk more sense and less jargon, and also come to the point faster with less prodding or prompting from faculty.

Well to put some thing in their favour, they listened, and were disciplined in their approach; as in, no one cross talks when another makes a point. (Probably because they were being taped! or because 50% of the grade is towards quality class participation. And we were told that there is an aide who takes notes on the class contributions). I agree that here the major grouse is that students sleep in front of the instructor, don't prepare well, etc. But apart for a strong alumni network I can't see reason for Harvard to be better than any top Indian BSchool. I know that this statement may look blasphemous to many but I have my reasons.

Getting into a top BSchool is more difficult than HBS.
These institutions get the top 2% of India's brightest minds (thats 2,500-3,000 from the top 10 BSchools)
Most of them possess extremely strong analytical skills since they have good engineering backgrounds.
More than 50% of students have previous work experience.
And now this video proves that these guys in HBS are no great shakes.

All said and done, I am really proud of being in MDI and proud to be Indian. It's no wonder that people around the world consider us a smart and intelligent people. Sounds extremely jingoistic, but I don't care!

And so they went ... lock, stock and placed!!!

Today was the Convocation ceremony of our senior batch. And they went out in style. Sunil Bharti Mittal of the Bharti Group was the Guest of Honour. Wondered what it would feel like next year when I would be leaving this place? Another thing was that Placements 2006 was officially released. And like the standard litany of the various magazines and newspapers that would scream the statistics here is for those who will not get to read it. The report says that the average salary is Rs9.1 lakhs and some more details which are of no importance. Don't ask me how they calculate the average. Rumour has it though that the guy drafting the report got up at 9:10 this morning ;)

The Class of 2006. Aren't they a happy lot!

Of jammed drains!

Came across this interesting mail. PFA the attachment!

(click to enlarge)

Durham Univ surely has some problems on their hands! (pun intended)

Rishikesh

With two days to kill four of us decided to head for the Garhwal Himalayas. There was a simulataneous trip organised by Summation, a new club on campus. However we trusted Pranesh's oranising skills to land us back and forth with relevant fun for less than half the cost. So there were we, Mansur, Pradeep, Pranesh and me by ourselves to Rishikesh.

Me, Mansur, Pranesh, Pradeep
A long bus ride later we were at the banks of the Ganga. The morning air with the river flowing past in force ... wonderful sight.

Then we were off to Shivpuri to begin our adventure sports. On the way we saw some of our brethren

Taking in the youthful Ganga on a beautiful Saturday morning. When you breathe in the air out here you can feel the cleansing in your lungs!

And then we took off... The expedition party with our guide Manoj and Sukhram from 'Dreamland Adventures'.

After rowing for about 8 kms we decided to take a break at a river beach. Unfortunately, we didn't realise till the pic was taken that Mansur and Pradeep were in their undies! Pranesh with the usual ciggie and me standing on the rock

The raft. And the Ganga valley in the background. The scene reminded me of the journey by Aragon in the Lord of the Rings

The Ganga valley calm, beautiful & serene
And thereafter to a sumptous meal, unlimited for 20 bucks
Siesta time!

And so it was! 24 hrs and 850 bucks later we were back in college. A trip worth it to the last penny. Desparately wanted to go out for a long time and this was the perfect opportunity. We plan to go on many such trips. I have become culturally bankrupt since coming here. Perfect time to start it!

Economic parallels through the eyes of a frustrated stomach

If you have read the last post on Rajma, you may understand my frustrations with the Mess. All the items on the Menu that are attempted by the staff meet a disastrous end. The idli is not porous (its this brittle round hardened paste), dosas have crazy shapes (oblong??), uttapams are half burnt, rajma sucks, the sabzee is not that great either, chicken is uncooked, and they probably slaughter the mutton in the curry (no other way to explain the bits of bone mixed with the curry!). Sharmaji's canteen (no way related to our Secy!) is not great either. This poor bugger has been making only salty burgers and plain paranthas since the time he began his career at MDI. And needless to say, the quality of that too is nowhere near edible standards.

But life is a zero sum game, or so it seems from the interesting events that have been taking place outside the college gates. While we have lost, a group of stalls have gained. Let me tell you how.

There are numerous call centres in and around MDI. All these call centres have night canteens, typically a cross between a road side stall and a dhaba. Arcus and GE are the two places majority of the people order from. All that people order from such places are either paranthas or Maggi.(The sales of the latter have shot up ever since MDI started the PGPM programme). It was high time that the GE guy made a wise decision to set up shop opposite our gate for 12 hrs a day.

In no time, two weeks to be precise, our GE guy decides that his busines has reached inflection point. He increases the labour employed and makes it a 24x7 place. I dont know how he manages his resources but he seems to have the place up and running all the time. Go at 3 am to his stall and you can see sleepy kids rolling paranthas and stirring Maggi. The GE guy makes on average 100+ plates of Maggi a day, not counting the paranthas and the chais

After about 2-3 weeks of intensive operations, the guy at the adjoining stall realises that he too can make a few extra bucks if he increases business hours. And so we have the old man all wrapped up serving things like tea, which he differentiated from his competitor by adding ginger and introduces a new product, bread pakoda. Unfortunately its only the low margin tea that sells well. The pakoda bombs in the market.

In the meantime, Sharmaji at the canteen complains. He emotionally appeals to us to patronise his offerings. His business has fallen drastically with the marginal propensity to spend increasing but no piece of the action coming his way. But he refuses to change his menu.

And then we have a samaritan (not our social service club) among us who through the medium of an anonymous email id informs us of the dangers of eating at a place like GE. He questions the sources and quality of ingredients. Sharma picks up the scent and validates the arguements.

The whole excercise reminds me of our economy. GE is the MNC, the guy next stall is the local competitor, Sharmaji is the PSU and the anon id is the Nationalist Swadeshi. It so blatantly replicates all that we see in the papers day in day out. The MNC works superefficiently employing cheap labour, the Indian competitor responds with half baked strategies, the PSU complains and instigates the jingoistic nationalist who throw a massive tantrum on how foreigners are selling us cheap. In the whole melee, we the consumers benefit and our tummies grow at 8.1% per annum. Pretty interesting thought this!

Rajma

Rajma is the staple diet of a ManDevIan. Almost everyday we are fed this ubiquitious cereal. And I wouldn't mind if it was well prepared. But the fare that the Nepali cook dishes out (not an attack on his culinary skills!) is a combination of masala, water and boiled rajma; which is probably added to the masala-water solution. Back home Mom makes this really tangy rajma curry, and its a delicacy. We who make up the DSouza stamachs (my Dad coined this term!) devour it as soon as it hits the plate.

Requests for variations result in the addition of water so that the colour of the curry changes. And it doesnt help because when I pour a helping onto my rice, the water disappears through the grains of rice and all that is left at the top of the heap is the freshly boiled rajma. Being added last in the cooking process and not having sufficient soaking time, it is as dry as the Thar desert.

Also known as Red Kidney Beans in other parts of the world, Rajma is a nutritious cereal. Unfortunately all it has achieved in MDI is to increase the flatulence index before it makes a long winding journey through the depths of the bowels of the 300 odd PG student fraternity at Change Masters and Odessey Hostel. Numerous attempts to the Hostel and Mess Secy to remove the cereal from the menu have been futile (not a question mark on benevolent Nitin Sharma) but the cereal seems to have some relation to being what we call in economics a 'public good' in this part of the country. What 'aalu' is to the people of the Gangetic plains, 'rice' to the people of the South, Sugar and sugar derivatives to Gujarat; 'Rajma' seems to be to the Punjabi and Haryanvi folk.

I am stuck with this cereal for the next one year atleast. Luckily I'll be home for the summers and so I can safely deduct 2 months of suffering. I can imagine myself, all round and portly when I return for the senior year. Mansi who was in ABG last year as a summer intern has told me that the food there is good. Add that to Mom's cooking, and I can see a major weight gain in June.

Meanawhile Shasvat Lakhanpal seems to like lil Red Kidney Beans. Apparently the stuff cooked here seem to digest in his stomach. My gut still has to get used to it!

Strategy = Academic Masturbation

In a BSchool there are 'basic' courses (those that are supposed to give you some vague idea of the choas that goes on inside an organisation) and then there are 'Strategy' courses. These courses are pure academic masturbation. (Credit: Rugved Dhumale for the term) You shag your mind and feel happy about it. Probably one of the most oft used words in the corporate world and disliked by students purely because it promises so much when you first hear about it, and disapoints badly when you go about the subject.

Basically anything that you do can be labelled as strategy. Here are some exmaples:

You fire 1/3rd your workforce. That's a strategy to rationalise your manpower and hence raionalise your cost.

You introduce a new product. That's a defensive or offensive strategy with your competitor depending on whether he's on your ass or you on his.

You upgrade your IT system. Thats another strategy to provide value to your business.

You overprice and do some branding or bunkum like it. Another of those 'value providing' bullshit strategies. (My personal opinion is that this 'value' thingie was thought of by some frustrated MBA who had deadlines to meet and to save his performance based variable component part of his salary came up with this five letter word which means nothing but shouts into your eardrums)

You redeisgn your logo. Another marketing strategy. (Other than making the logo creator feel good about himself, I don't think consumers / customers give two hoots about the look of the logo.

I could go on... the point I'm trying to make is this. We MBA's believe all the stuff that's being told to us. We blindly agree that two random events that take place actually have a causal relationship between them. I'm not trying to deride Strategy here. I'm not trying to say that firms have no strategy. What I am against is the blatant use of the word 'Strategy' to justify and explain everything.

Strategy boils down to one thing. Foresight. Can you visualise what's gonna happen tomorrow. If you can, great! Next step is can you foresee whether your business can sustain itself tomorrow. You can, even better!! Now can you foresee what alternatives you have, what resources you have, what permutations and combinations you can carry out with your resources and grow your business. If you can, you are probably in an elite class. Very few people in this world actually can do that. That's strategy. Or rather in simpler terms 'foresight'

Unfortunately, I'm not learning that in my strategy course. All I do is study the past. I analyse cases without knowing the context. And I have a professor who has no clue what he's talking about. He has standard replies to questions that perplex him, 'I'll get back to you in a moment' before he heads off to another raised hand. Needless to say, that moment never comes. Another brilliant manouvering line he uses is 'They (the case under discussion) did something very interesting' (Time something interesting happened here). Of late he's been outsourcing his work to another johnny who is even more clueless. I have never met a more jobless person than this guy who sends mails on 'Excellence in submissions'. This is what Guru Bhobe feels about this nut.

But no I'm an MBA. It's my prerogative to use fancy terms, do fancy (supposedly) work, expect fancy salaries, blah. And I'm gonna make the world feel I know more than they all collectively know. Just coz I got three seemingly 'strategic' letters appended to my name. And no ones wiser!

Sonia trivia

Came across some interesting facts about Sonia Gandhi, the President of the Indian National Congress. Apparently it seems that she is the 8th person of foreign origin and the 3rd woman of foreign origin to hold the post of India's oldest political party. Check up her website.

Just some interesting trivia I thought I'd share ...

Sutta na mila ...

Some months ago there was an interesting song doing the rounds in the hostel. The tradition is to pass on interesting songs like these and then everyone plays it full blast ... some fun

I almost forgot 'Sutta na mila' till I came across this blog.

So for those of you (esp. my friends in the US!) who'd like to sample this new offering from this Paki band 'Zeest'. The song is about a smoker who doesnt get to smoke in peace. His sutta (ciggie in Hindi) is taken away by his Dad, abhored by his girlfriend, then wife, etc. The song is famous for its Bhenc**d, Maa-c**d lyrics.

The song is available at the following link.

And for the benefit of those who wanna sing along.

Doston mein baitha main sutta pee raha
Abba ne mujhe sutta peete dekh liya
Ghar jab pahuncha to danda ho gaya
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.

College mein gaya mujhe pyar ho gaya,
Usne bhi mujhse mera sutta cheen liya
Sadkon pe ghooma main tanha reh gaya
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.

Shaadi hui main husband ban gaya
Raat bhar thoka main thak ke gir gaya
Khushiyon ki khatir mera sutta chin gaya, BC sutta.

BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.

BC MC, BC MC BC MC.
BC MC, BC MC BC MC.
BC MC, BC MC BC MC.
BC MC, BC MC BC MC

How to ride a bike - Part Two

Ignore all that was said in the previous post. To learn how to ride a bike you need to do one thing.

Fall off it
and ....
Today I did just that.

Was riding with Mansur on the pillion. And reached the end of the road and had to take a turn. Unfortunately I couldn't find the brake and by the time I found it, it was too late.

Minor scratches and banged head and a finger sprain. But the learning is immense. DO NOT PANIC.

Waiting to get that crazy baby between my legs once again!!!

How to ride a bike - Part One

Me and Ramesh have found a new passtime. We ride into the night as the road takes us. When we feel that it is enough we turn back. It is on these arbit trips that I have learnt how to ride a bike.

Turn the key
Unlock
Make sure the side stand is up
Neutral gear
Kick-start
If doesn't start
then decompress with clutch and kick till it starts ;)
Change gear to 1st
Increase throttle and slowly release clutch (the most difficult thing !!!)
put foot on brake and you are on your way!!!

I did well... I started and took the bike upto 30 kmph. Felt good.

All i need is some practice and a license.

Degenaration

An interesting thought was shared by my Strategy professor, Dr. Amit Kapoor. He said that it was perceived that the IQ of an MBA student actually fell during the course of the programme. Though he mentioned some study done by some psychos (who apparently had no better work to do... a live example of this topic!!!) and though it may actually seem wierd, the truth is ... hold your breath ... Its TRUE.

Lemme tell you my testimony...
Before coming to MDI I used to comb the Economic Times everyday. Each article was stripped bare. Each editorial was analysed from all possible angles.
I used to finish the BusinessWorld mag the day I bought it. Outlook Money had the similar fate. Frontline, the most difficult mag to read because of the high vocabulary took longer to finish. I ate, drank and digested the news.
I followed the markets daily. I almost knew the price of all scrips in my portfolio on a daily basis.
I read. Novels, Articles, papers. I always had some or the other book in my hand.
I went out with friends. (Long walks with Audrey was a daily pleasure!) I socialised. Travelled. etc.
After coming to MDI, I can count the number of days I have read the paper on my fingers. The fate of the paper lies under my bed where many of them lie wasted.
I haven't read a single biz mag cover to cover. Of course I've counted the occasional glance into an interesting headline. But the first few lines, introductory paragraph was all there was to it.
I dont even know the price I bought some of my stocks (Though since Unnati happened I have taken some interest!)
Books. I issue them. I return them. Reading them is not on the list.
Going out. Well that reminds me, its been a long time since I went out.

Why do these things happen. Isn't B School supposed to make you a better informed, better organised, better professional and provide value addition. Almost all my friends who have come here agree that there were much better off before coming to a BSkool. All I have learnt here is a few terms (which would make no sense to those above or below you anyways), how to 'sound' sophisticated, how to maro gyaan, how to work my way through the backdoor. Did I pay 5.14 lakh rupees to go through this, and lose two good years of earnings.

Also its funnier still when freshly minted MBAs, expect skyhigh salaries. I dunno whether we would sincerely hire at that what students expect if I was on the other side of the hiring table! Prolly I would love to make a jackass of him.

That brings me to the next point. What am I doing here? Well ... a victim of necessity (to rise up the ladder ... and 'differentiate' myself from the billion plus people that we are) and marketing by newspapers, magazines and BSkools themselves. My expectations before coming here was that I would learn from the rich and diverse experience of my batchmates, that everyone around me would give different angles to analyse management problems (and trust me there are many), that our renowned faculty would give insights into fundaes rather than just qoute management gurus verbatim.... Sheesh I could go on ......!!! @#%$#^%$&

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME I CAN APPLY THE SHIT I AM STUDYING .....
Eagerly waiting for the summer internship to start ... before I go into negative IQ !!!!

FunFest results

Forgive the pic quality. Click to enlarge.
(And Natyamatics dint have any funds for the winners ... so no treat to anyone!!!)

FunFest

Yesterday was Funfest, organised by Natyamatics. There was a flurry of activity throughout the latter half of the day with events like Collage, FacePainting, Ad Mad show, a live performance by Mandolins, etc.

As usual my team reported 5 mins after time for the first event i.e. collage and boy we rocked. Prady, Mansur, me and Sarvo made up the team. Our theme, 'Parties@MDI'.We made a collage that was pretty interesting. It looked more like a sleaze act. But then when you put fournaughty guys together whaddaya expect?

L to R - Harshit, Mansur, Prady, Sarvo, ME and Aditya

The collective brains of horny minds can turn a good theme into this...
Sarvo, ME and Mansur.

In the meantime, me and Tamz had a facepainting entry and again we came up with a masterpiece. This time the theme was 'Rebuilding India' and the master that Tamz is with the brushes, he did a brilliant job. so there I was on the eve of Republic Day looking like an Indian soccer hooligan! (though I doubt the existence of such a tribe!)

GET... SET... GO!!!

AND THE FINISH... !!!!
RIGHT SIDE PROFILE..

LEFT SIDE PROFILE...
SOME OF THE PARTICIPANTS...
L to R - Achyut, Pradeep, Rohin, ME and Pranav

There were many more ... will upload those pics later...

The Alumni Meet

Alumni meet was on last Saturday. But I dint get hold of the snaps until recently. It was a celebration of the 10th aniversary of the first graduating batch. The Director hosted a dinner and our clubs Natyamaics and Mandolins performed for the gathering.

Later after dinner we assembled at Parthenon for an informal jamming session with a coupla PG03 guys (superseniors). That was about it. Had a winterball at Change Masters later after that.

The parties at MDI have now become extremely boring so we just hanged out at Bhobe's room playing rock n roll! Of course we joined the party scene whenever we had to refill.

Here are some of the pics of me at the alumni meet.

Me with the gat. Of course I was just posing for the cam. Dont judge which cord I was trying to play!

Hogging gulab jamuns with icecream at the party. Boy did they taste good.

The jam session outside 'Parthenon'
L to R - Tamagna (Tamz), Mansur, Pradeep (Mob), ME, Makesh (Maks)

Fooling around with Pranesh. Forgive the photographer (Bhobe) he took the snap when I almost blinked!

Unnati and Monetrix

Made it to the Unnati team as a Senior Securities Analyst. 'Unnati Investment Management and Research Group' is India's first student managed mutual fund. Most probably will handle the Infrastructure and Engineering portfolio.

Pretty excitied about it. I have always been excited about the stock markets ever since I made my first trade in mid 2003 buying 10 shares of Grasim Industries @ 480 odd bucks. I had made a good return on that investment. Obviously it was Mom's money! Over the years I have come a long way from poring over the quotations in the Economic Times and drawing all sorts of conclusions. I remember carrying the ET to college and my friends asking whether I understood it at all? It took me a year to understand what to read and what not to. Over two and a half years I have made just two losses and luckily for me the scale has been small. Today our (Mom's and mine) assets under management have grown to be substantial.

The next thing I knew, I had made it to the Content Generation team at Monetrix too! Monetrix is our Finance club. I hope I will be able to contribute well to Monetrix. I have lotsa plans and lets see how they materialise.

Lastly I have applied for Delphique for the Operations panel as Research co-ordinator. Lets see how that one works out.

The truth about sex

I found an interesting article on rediff.com by Rashmi Bansal titled 'The truth about sex'. It debates whether people get into a realtionship just for sex or not. Somewhere down the middle, it digresses into discussing the history of sex and arousal characteristics of men and women; but (thankfully) at the end returns to the topic but doesnt answer the question.

Seeing many people fall in and out of relationships I agree partly when Rashmi mentions that college students mainly get into relationships to be one with the crowd. Though not explicitly mentioned there is a lot of indirect peer pressure. The same was also highlighted in an article 2 years ago which had appeared in the Bombay Times (a supplement with TOI, Mumbai edition) which said that couples in colleges are forced to 'pet' each other and get 'physical' else risk being labelled as 'frigid'.

This is a disturbing trend since when a relationship breaks down, it becomes very difficult for the persons involved to believe that there was no love involved. It then complicates matters leading to loss of self esteem and depressing times.

I know this sounds like general fart. But then I couldt find a better way to put it across. And no my posts wont be so intense all the time ;-)

The entire article is available at the following link. Click here.

Movie fest and minus 1 degrees

For the past three days we at MDI are having a movie fest. Day before yesterday saw 'Butch cassidy and the Sundance Kid' and 'The seven year-itch'. Yesterday saw 'The Seven Samurai' of Akiro Kurosawa and 'Waqt' (The old version). Today we have 'Lawrence of Arabia' and 'Half Ticket'.

Me ... have missed Waqt and Lawrence so far. Plan to go for half ticket in the evening. Butch was a good movie. Hilarious at times, comical and was good timepass. Seven year itch has reinforced my belief not to watch English classics. Sad. Really sad.

The best so far has been Sevem Samurai. The movie was in Japanese with English subtitles. At times the focus goes away from the scene and the entire attention is on the subtitles. Even today the movie is a thrill; which just shows what it might have been in its haydays. Towards the end of the movie, the action scene was fun to watch with everyone passing comments on the scenes and linking them to the random crap that happens at MDI.

The day ended with dry runs for the upcoming placement season.

****************************************************************

Yesterday Delhi touched ZERO degrees celcius for the first time in many years. The lowest recorded temperature for the past few years had been 4 degrees. Our campus recorded -1 degrees. And no the water did not freeze in the taps yet. Though it was awfully cold even at 10:30 in the morning. My fingers froze to the extent that I had to solicit help to complete typing out my presentation for the ODC class at noon.

Another coupla weeks before the winter eases...

Back to Gurgaon

So im back from the term break. Christmas, Midnight Mass, New year, Mom-Dad's anniversary, a wedding, the beach, hanging out of a mumbai local, chaat, dinners with friends, relatives, walks to Evershine, shopping at InOrbit, gifts, a coupla movies, christmas sweets, Pork Sorpatel, Pork Chilly Fry, Prawns, Wine... the list could just go on. Reminds me of some of the things that I miss over here.

At the airport I just couldnt imagine that I was leaving so quickly. There was so little time and yet though so much was done and so many people met; there were still people to meet and many more things to do.

A new term has started. It looks interesting (but so did term 2!) but a coupla profs just proved me wrong. Anyways me just going with my funda of no baggage from the the past! Lets see if there is any point of the first year of an Indian MBA course.

So heres heralding the New Year and the New Term!!!

Airport ordeals & the festive season

Fog has crippled Delhi airport. Or is it a scapegoat?? Dunno, but whatever it is, I was made to wait for a lifetime, the logistics at the counters, boarding pass counter, security checks and other formalities was so long I was pooped by the time I boarded my flight. But that wasnt the end of it. We had to wait for a full 2 hours more till we got permission for take off.

Travelled by Air Deccan for the first time. The interiors look almost like a Mumbai local with ads springing all over the place. The pilot openly admitted to reporting 'false data' to the control tower so that we could get an advantage in take-off position over the other planes. Apparently they could not handle the load. Bad crisis management I must say. Anyways, me was on one lucky flight which made it Mumbai at precisely 8:30 pm. A enthusiastic taxi driver then displayed some Formula driving skills to help me make it home at 10:00 pm. Placecoms training in quick dressing came in handy as I was bathed, out and into fresh clothes and made it to the service in time.

Was a tired day at the end of it all. Couldnt help it. Was lucky that I was one of the few people to leave Delhi. Praise God for that. Thats it from here. Today (26th) is Mama's and Daddy's anniversary. 27th is another party and so on... The celebrations and the festive season has just begun!!!

Urs Foggingly and byebye for a week

Yesterday Term 2 ended. I am now roughly 32 per cent of an MBA. As I evaluate myself on the huge costs (opportunity and real) that I have incured over the past 6 months, I ponder on the learnings (Cudn't help it fellow ManDevIans... WAC ka bhoot utara nahi hai!!!).

1) MBA is about making shit look like hot shit.
2) The faster you understand and implement point 1 above the higher will your Grade Point Average (GPA) and hence CGPA be, and the less expectations will you have, and consequently your satisfaction will be maximised.
3) Recruiters dont give a damn to how many Balance Sheets you balanced, how many models you optimised, what strategy you proposed (for the googled project you did for an MNC which you dint even visit once), what is your understanding of human resource mgmt, what is the positioning of the crap that FMCG companies generate, your exposition on world economics,.... and I could go on.
4) B Schools pressure and academic rigour are myths.
5) People will give their left ball/boob for an extra grade and RG a fellow batchmate.
6) Point number five is very valid in the corporate world too.
7) Job Job Job... is the light at the end of this MBA tunnel; at least in India.
8) Management is about bullshitting with elan and quoting esoteric gurus (with keywords thrown in for effect) to fool others. Finance guys fool investors, Marketing guys fool customers, HR guys fool employees, Operations and Systems guys join the fun (and the chaos and end up fooling each other)

So in the end its a fools game. I dunno why companies come in hordes and recruit MBAs in such large numbers?? I dunno.. seriously.. hope I am proved wrong!!!

*****************************************************************

So since exams are over and the term break is on, Im off to Mumbai. Waiting to see home and family. In the meantime, fog has descended on us in the North. 'Kohra' as they say has caused havoc in all transportation systems across the North. Delhi airport is clogged. Flights are cancelled. Trains are held up. Highway traffic is moving at slow pace. Its frustrating. I have to complete the marketing assignment (whose deadline was postponed till tomorrow night), complete a friends report, catch up on much needed sleep, pack my belongings, etc. My flight is already delayed. Air Deccan has been kind to SMS me the news. Other friends are stranded at the airport with cancelled flights et al.

Will be back after a week. I might blog.. I might not.. Till the next post goodbye!!!
and since its already Christmas Eve, Compliments of the season!!! May the Lord bless ye all and ye families.

Elections

On 16th we had our Student Council elections for the next year, and boy have they thrown up a number of surprises. After the speeches interspered with hooting, cheering, booing, applauding, jeering, clapping and the voting which lasted for a cumulative 5 hours, we were left with a new council and Sharmaji, our canteen man was left with nothing (That was coz the new council treated us ... and we looted them ... literally!!!)

So heres presenting the new Students Council at MDI:
Gen. Secy : Subrat
Imperium : Sravan
Illumina : Harpreet Bajwa
Delphique : Samrat
Alumni : Ashish Singla
Corp Comm Cell : Karishma
PG Rep : Sanjay Mohta
PGHR Rep : Thariyan Chacko
Monetrix : Bhavin
Marquity : Makesh
HRDirection : Vishal
Iterations : Ramesh
Sports n Cultural : Vaibhav Mathur
Treasurer : Harshit Jain
Hostel n Mess : Nitin Sharma

That was the entire list. As for me, I ut my time to productive use. Read a book on 'Low Risk Investing' in the midst of the chaos in the Audi. ;-)

Of sub zero temperatures and survival guides...

The cold has hit a new low. It has become unbelievably cold in Gurgaon. Though it is a bit of a chore to dress up appropriately and take the necessary precautions so that tropical freaks like me dont exfoliate, the experience has been great. The maximum that my exterior has been subject to has been the cool environs of Matheran, Mahabaleshwar and the summer 'cold' of Nepal. This winter just a few hundred kilometers from the Shivalik (the foothills of the Himalayas) is a new thingie for me. The weather forecast has been sub zero at -3 to 0 degree range for the coming week. So I am told by an email shot off to the entire batch by the benevolent Singla.

Winter here means layering your skin with moisturisers so that it doesnt look like you seen a ghost or rather people mistake you for a ressurected being. (Dehydrated skin can give you a ghostly look). It also means wearing heavy clothing. Something new again for the equitorial me. Jackets over sweatshirts over Tee shirts over vest over skin is a must to prevent shivering. Also one has to supposedly wear thermal 'inners'. The first time I heard the term I thought it was some gizmo made from fundoo materials with heating properties. Looking at the model on the cover of the pack at the store I decided against it. He looked more of a ballet dancer. My shorts serve me better.

There are 3 zones of contact where you can 'get' cold. First its the ears... If not properly shielded with a monkey cap, shawl, etc. the winds of Rajasthan that blow with gay abandon over the plains of Haryana can give you a pain in the head. Second its the feet... here it is advisable to have them covered with socks or better still wear shoes. Inspite of all this they have the tendency to freeze your toes and boy can that hurt. Last but most important of all are the family jewels (at least for the guys... dunno abt the gals ;-p ...) Keep these guys reasonably warm and you can rest assured that they will keep all other fraternity guys warm. I have already explained the futility of the thermal wear.

Another point of caution.. DO NOT wash hands and then directly launch into the open. They hurt bad. My palms have been hurting coz in a display of scant respect for the winter air, I waltzed out of the washroom with wet hands and as the temperature of my palms reduced exponentially I felt a sharp surge of pain. It takes a long time to go. So beware!!!

Well for a guy nothing can be as irritating as dandruff problems. I have never, I repeat never, ha dandruff problems in my life. Here with the onset of the winters my scalp has chosen this occassion to make up for all the years of my existence. Every morning I play this silly game. It's called 'ScalpScratcher'. I vigourously scratch my head to shake of the dandruff that builds there over the past 24 hours. Mom says that I must oil my hair and wash it regularly. Alas! the oil that I use has solidified. I have to place the bottle under hot water and even after that effort all I get is the equivalent of flatulence from the blocked nozzle.

They say that this is not the least. The mercury is yet to fall to its lowest. The locals are awaiting the fog. They say its colder then, and claim that visibility is so poor it is limited to a few metres. I havent seen much of fog. Or was it mist?? Frankly I dunno... but what I know is that the winters here are a great experience. Just as the lusty showers of Mumbai, the winters of Delhi (and surrounding areas) have a charm of their own.

What Pattern is your Brain?

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Got the above link from Amit Goyals blog. So simple nah! Just look at a pic and it guesses your thinking pattern, mental process. In the words of my Operations prof, so much inn-no-way-son!!! ... They just stopped short of predicting the mental attributes of my yet to be born children.

Management S&M

In the pursuit of our MBA degrees we are supposed to have a wholistic view of Management Science Models. Though many of my analytical friends will swear that it is one of the better subjects to study, and I dont blame them coz this is the only soccour to those enginneers where we get exact solutions (in an otherwise choatic world of mgmt.)

In another life the same things I studied under the moniker of 'Operations Research' and boy! did I kick ass then. Assignment models, PERT CPM, Linear programming, Simplex were like brothers. Now we are estranged, me after a stint on an MNC shopfloor where I was saw that they weren't as effective as academic oracles back at engineering college claimed them to be. In fact what worked best was the out-of-the-ass solutions that me and my colleagues worked out. Out there I learned to abhor theory and those serpentine formulae.

So today, when I am told that some linear graphs and similar methods are the answer to management jigsaws I find it hard to believe. I dont know why such subjects are taught to us. I dont think that 2 years down the line when I am Manager of some function will I be worried about the sensitivity of some god forsaken 2D line drawn by an MBA still wet between the ears.

Other than being a teaser for those with an analytical bent of mind, for lesser mortals like me who are petrified by too much of math the subject is psychologically a pain. I prefer to call MSM Management S&M. Yes friends, the subject is precisely that; its Sadism and Masochism in Management education. But then I'm happy to be studying it. Why?? ... Reminds me of those glorious engineering days. Reminds me of SG Patil (The engg.prof who taught me OR) and all the fun we had in his class; and all the imitating that I did. Yes it is gratification, by pain. True S&M!!!

Movies to watch when your stoned, drunk, are frustrated with life...

1. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
2. HitchHickers guide to the galaxy
3. Monty Phython series... 'Life of Brian', 'Meaning of life', 'The holy Grail',
The script of 'Fellowship of the Rings' is available at this link.

Well for now watch these... I'll add more if you are really that stoned/drunk...

Exchange????????

The whole day today was spent on evaluating the benefits of studying (rather visiting) Europe as an exchange student. After a thorough analysis of the pros and cons I have decided against it. The were only two institutes I was interested in. European Business School (ebs), Germany and Copenhagen Business School (CBS), Denmark. Though both institutes have a stipend that makes the total expenses quite manageable, I am not too keen after lookng at the course content of either institute. Also the courses that I would miss over here are important core finance courses that should ideally not be missed in a Finance major.

So thats the end of a dilemma. Mebbe I'll visit Europe some other time.

The Great Bong

Ramesh has introduced me to a very interesting blog. Following is the link of a hilarious (brilliant.. as put by Ramesh) post on GreatBong.

Do read it!!!

Salaam Namaste

Watched it finally.. a hindi movie after a long time... the last hindi movie I watched was ...shit dunno... it was so long ago that I forgot :-p

I believed that SN was decent until the last 20-30 minutes of the movie had me thinkin otherwise. Damn... people might say big 'crap' ;-) abt it showcasing the realities of modern Indian society. Agreed that to an extent it does... but then the movie doesnt live upto the climax it that shows a total disconnect between the 'cool' attitude and the slapstick comedy that is potrayed towards the end.

This is another reason why I dont like watching Hindi movies. Themes change abruptly, Plots follow convoluted paths and in the middle somewhere a song and dance routine is thrown in for good measure.

On the positives of the movie, I'll say that the direction and cinematography was excellently done. The photography is good. Saif dancing skills are well hidden by the zooming cams, the colour roit and other similar methods (as observed by Mansur). The movie could have really made it big with the sensitive issue it generated. However they lost it in the end with the 'crap'.

All said and done, it was a good way to spend 2 hrs on a saturday night.

Retail or Corporate?

That was the question that vexed many an eminent panelist who congregated onto our hallowed campus to debate the issue in the post lunch session of our first ever 'Annual' Banking Symposium.

Well for starters we wore our suits/blazers for the first time on campus. Formal wear for the winters we were told. Unfortunately some a***hole decided not to turn on the air conditioning inside the packed and sealed (may I add) auditorium. So there were we all dressed and cooking inside our 'formal wear'.

The roll calling done (its a tradition to be followed... who cares a damn whether you are interested in the proceedings or not!!!) the panelists were escorted to the dias. I must say that the organising committee did a great job on the celeb front. We had the whos-who and the whos-going -to-be-next-who of the financial world. The keynote speaker was the Dy. Gov. of the RBI. (Forgot her name...forgive me!!!) and the rest of the guys were senior bankers/VPs/diros of firms like Ernst & Young, ICICI Bank, SBI, Yes Bank, StanChart, Amex, Citigroup, NCDEX, etc etc.

The entire thing would have been another also ran thingie at MDI had it not been for the sardar from SBI who livened up things at the fag end of the session. He rocked the place with his sharp wit, humour, sarcasm and hilarious stories. The other guys did a marketing job of their resp. cos and the ICICI bank dood did a typical MBA style presentation with lotsa data and the ubiquitous 'sa pa da pa'

So finally the conclusion... we need a balance of both COrporate and Retail banking... knew that was coming right!!! its a typical MBA answer politically correct and vague as hell... sardar dood was bang on target when he said that retail banking depends a lot on corporate banking. If firms borrow and grow, the returns flow towards the household sector who in turn then can drive retail banking. Way to go paaji... you probably said everything that had to be said in short sentences, in succint language and served with doses of common sense that probably they dont teach at BSchool

And this number is dedicated to....

I cherish this song... Other than being one of the fave numbers I love to dance to each word is meaningful to me... I've been listening to it continuously for quite some time tonite...

This is dedicated to you .... Audrey ... Bryan Adams with "Heaven"

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free

Now nothin' can take you away from me
We bin down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

N' baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've bin waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

Shopping!!!

Today was my shopping day... After attending a sad PPT and a good workout, Ramesh, Pradeep, Mansur, Sethu and me went out shopping... We had a good time and followed it up with dinner at McDonalds.
What did I get???
A pullover, a winter cap, a cool jacket and a tee. Was going to buy cargoes but didn't like the designs. Will do so in Mumbai.
Missed the CRC meet... damn... but alls well that ends well... me off to finish Season 3!!!

Late night ramblings....

I have always imagined what it felt like to speak in the cold wheather and have moist vapour escaping my mouth. I have grown up seeing the BBC corresspondent reporting from Sarajevo spew vapour while giving the final touches to the telecast. Today it finally happened. After a screening of 'My brother Nikhil' at the auditorium by the 'Samaritans' - A club oriented towards social service- we went for a coffee and there I was with 'smoke' when I spoke.

Well me going to watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Season 3. Gotta thank Anee for the CDs!!!


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22 more days to go before I land at home. Mannnn... its the Christmas season and Advent (The Christmas season) started last Sunday... The end terms are also just 2 weeks away... Projects and lotsa work lined up.... AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! I wanna go home!!!

A day in the life of Gordon D'Souza

2:30 AM
I called Audrey. Middle of the night I know. And she was busy playing with chemo drugs. Wrong time to disturb a person I say. Like they say at CCD's "A lot can happen over chemos".
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3:45 AM
I complete the HRM presentation on training of senior managers of a banking company for leadership skills.
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8:15 AM
Alarm rings......
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9:30 AM
I wake up ;-)
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3:45 PM
Back from class....
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5:50 PM
Back from the gym
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8:15 PM
Finished chatting with Audrey...... ;-)
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9:00 PM
Dinner with chole and puris with lotsa jalebis :-)
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9:30 PM
My brother Nikhil screened at the Audi
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11:45 PM
Me blogging this!!!!

So that was today... and its been a week like this... completely chilled out... dunno if I've got used to the system or wot???

Also, wonder what happened to the guy who was being administered chemo drugs... Smiling and joyful nurses can heal what chemos cant ;-)