Heaven and Hell

Received this interesting one in the mail from Venkatron ... :)

Wall Street Fables: The secret of the Bonus

Following is a crude con-job. A far away analogy would be the way Wall Street quants (A term used to describe people with more than their share of quantitative skills ... typically guys who can do spreadsheets in their head) have financially engineered returns on dead assets ...

A city boy, Raj, moved to the village and bought a donkey from an oldfarmer for Rs.1000. Thefarmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.The next day the farmer drove up and said,

"Sorry Raj, but I have some bad news, the donkey died while I was bringing him here."

"Well then, just give me my money back", replied Raj.

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I wentand spent it already."

To which raj replied, "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer was inquisitive. "What you are going to do with him?"

"I'm going to raffle him off." replied Raj

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" exclaimed the farmer.

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." There was a twinkle in Raj's eye.

A month later the farmer met up with Raj and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?

"I raffled him off", said Raj with a casual look, "I sold 500 tickets at Rs. 10 each and made a profit of Rs 4990 with the donkey worth Rs. 1000 as the prize."

"Didn't anyone complain?", the farmer asked with a look of astonishment.

"Just the guy who won .... So I gave him back his Rs. 10."

And that my friends is a fable on how investment bankers across the world made their hefty bonus'.

United Holdings of America Capital Partners???

Came across this interesting copy on the auto bailouts. At the pace at which things are going the US should change its name from 'United States of America' to 'United Holdings of America Capital Partners LLC' or something of that sort

Whats in a name ...

... A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. Maybe not. (Scroll to the bottom of the page)

You don't need no graduation

I got this link from Sidin's blog. Apparently some program goes through your blog in like a few nano-seconds and pops up its impression of what kind of people read the trash you type. For a minute a conspiracy theory floated in my head which suggested that a kutty program somewhere did a random match-the-columns routine. (Entirely possible)

Anyway Pseudoforce did OK. We fall in 'High School' readers category. Which is not bad since the Greatest Common Divisor of education of all my friends who read this is above that level. And those, if any, below that level will not know what a blog is or read it anyway. Which means, to read my thoughts you don't need no graduation.

Corporate Fraud!

Having spent some time on Marketing in a BSchool and after going through the jargon that marketeers seem to pull out of their hats as frequently as Emran Hashmi's onscreen escapades, I have come to believe that there is no better way to con people into paying more or using more than what they would want than to play some Marketing jazz.

Dilbert feels the same! Marketeers! What do you have to say? ;)

Courtesy: Economic Times

All about Gordon DSouza you wanted to know but were afraid to ask

I have been taking arbit quizzes recently. It's a good stress busting / time wasting / see result-snort kinda thing. And its fun too. The culprit for this criminal waste of office time is a certain site called Brainfall. I got it through the news feed on facebook that serruptitiously tells me what my friends are doing.

So here goes ... Probably it might help you know me better ... or better still you'll know what to get me as a birthday present ;)


If I were a character from FRIENDS ... I would be Rachel Greene


"You are Rachel. You're very selfish and pay great attention to image. Spoiled when you were young, you were always the popular and snobbish kid. Although you hang on to your adolescent attributes, you grow more responsible every year."


Don't get me wrong here. I am not into crossdressing and not interested in a sex change. And I wasn't spoiled when I was young. Rather I toiled day and night like 'Opal Mehta' but I didn't get kissed though I got a life. So there ...


And now a look into my future ...

If I were an Action Hero ... I would be Daniel Craig


"You are Daniel Craig. Bond, James Bond. Keep up your suave style but don't forget to remain a bad ass. Money and romance is more your style, so don't get your hands too dirty. "


Now that says something doesn't it ... I confirm that I am completely and totally 101% DC. Except that I don't have fast cars, don't bed women every 10 minutes, hate techie gizmos, don't work for a detective agency, can't run the parkour, am afraid of dangling from overhead cranes, have never handled a gun, ... you get the drift


And speaking of style ...

If I were a drink ... I would be a Fine Glass of Wine

"You are a Fine Glass of Wine. You are sophisticated and refined, but also complicated and hard to deal with. Not everyone loves you, but those who do swear that you're the coolest thing since sliced bread. ..."

Ahem! Yes that I am (said in that sexy baritone voice of mine ... which you will hear if you call me when I'm having a bloody cold) ... Though Scotch on the rocks is my poison ... I'd settle for wine too ... wink wink .. remember the birthday present hint


Now a look into my past.

If I was in Hogwarts ... I would be in Gryffindor

"The Sorting Hat would put you in Gryffindor. You are bold, passionate, and brave. You have a highly-defined sense of right and wrong, and you are not afraid to speak your mind or fight for what you want."

Ok.

Going on ...

If I were a Harry Potter Character ... I would be ... It's a TIE!!! Part Harry and part Hermoine
"You are part Harry. You're a loyal and courageous friend. You'd do anything to protect the people you love, especially if it'll get you a break from class for a little while"
"You are part Hermione. You're a bookworm always in search of answers. When pressed, however, you can always be counted on to put away the books and help your friends"

Sigh. Those were the glorious school / college days.


And continuing to the most accurate guess by Brainfall till now

If I were to major in college ... I would major in Engineering

"Your major should be Engineering. Logic is your friend. With enough work, you can find a solution to anything... Unless it involves dating or parties."


It's true; and I am extremely proud of my engineering days. Grease ki kasam ... I am a true blue mechie boy .. though I did something in management later on I actually studied for my exams and was an exemplary student during VJ days.



For the darker side of me.

If I were a Disney Villain ... I would be Jafar

"You just want to be big and powerful... Is that so much to ask? I mean, you deserve it."

I AM big ... and powerful ... If you know what I mean ;)


And finally .. some kinky stuff ... which you have to live with if I'm around. Brainfall is not responsible for this. It is from another site


My lucky underwear colour is ... BLUE (Cheerio! Bravo bravo!!)

"You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them.You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry.If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first."

Well Blue is my colour; and yes, ever since I have worn blue undies my life has been on an upswing (no pun intended!)


Hope these very informative metaphors have given you a much more deeper insight into my personality and my reason for being. Take a chance ... see what you actually are ... Its fun, believe me!

Rang Barse

It was Holi. The Festival of colours. It was probably the most decent Holi celebration I have witnessed till date with very restrained throw of colours and water, very unlike the Mumbai style of oil paints, acids, urine and the like. No 'bhaiya plastics' as is the case with Mumbai. Just plain water and for a change we had an NGO, the SNS Foundation, which provided us with herbal powders. The powders were of a good quality and scented again unlike the chemicals laced with lead and other toxic substances that we get in Mumbai.

L-R: Harshit, Tamagna, Jis, Me (time stamp) and Samir

We were then invited to 'Daddu's' place, our dear Director, Dr. Pritam Singh. We had sweets and then proceeded to the lawns behind the library where we had another round of sweets and 'thandai'.

L-R: Uday, Shantanu, Abhishek, Achyut, Sarvo, Me (time stamp again!) and Avdesh

And of course 'Holi' here is never complete without 'Bhaang'. Most of us being first timers and having had a rather crappy experience the last time Bhaang was served during 'Lohri', consumed the drink in copious amounts. Little that we knew that this time around the Bhaang was unadulterted and pure.

The laughing fit! : Ronnie, Me and Raghav in the foreground

So that made many of us laugh our way back to our rooms. Massive bouts of sleeping later, many of us were still under the spell. There has been a unanimous demand for only bhaang at the next MDI party!